Good evening all,
I thought I 'd write a quick post regarding the bar that parents hold for their children. Some background why I am addressing this is that two days ago I heard a story on the news about a couple of kids that were involved in a fight, a pretty violent one at that, on their school campus. A school security guard responded and in an attempt to break up the fight, one of the kids was hit with the officer's walkie. The father of this child is upset that the guard "hit" his child, and feels the guard should be punished.......
Now.....C'MON
What happened to the days where no matter what happened, parents would hold their kids accountable?? The way I was brought up was that if there was, ever, an incident where a child and an adult were at odds.....the CHILD WAS AT FAULT. This, I think, stems from the old saying "respect your elders". Why on earth is the father that I mentioned previously NOT upset with his fighting child??
My belief is that children now are held to a lower standard than when I was young, and this may be partly accountable to the craziness that we see around us everywhere.
The fact is, that no matter where a parent sets the bar of achievement, children will try to reach that bar.
If you are happy with your kid getting C's in school and getting into trouble at any opportunity, your children will do just that. If you are happy with your child skipping school to play video games, or to meet up with other children causing trouble, so be it......That is what you will get.
I recall when I was a child and I'd get all A's and one B. My father would greet me with the statement; "What happened on that B". At the time, I'd be frustrated thinking it's only one B. But I'll tell you what, next grading period, I'd do WHATEVER it took to get rid of that B. Now look, I'd like to consider myself a moderately successful guy with a future and career earning potential. The bar my dad had for me allowed for this level of success, and although sometimes life was not a box of chocolates, things couldn't be sweeter now that I am an adult.
As long as parents are "OK" with mediocrity for their children, that is what they will get. I submit to ALL parents, young and old, new and experienced; SET THAT BAR HIGH. You will be surprised how your child will respond. As long as you keep the bar to a level that is easily reached your children will not learn how to face adversity and pull up those boot straps when times get tough.
One final example follows. Several months ago in Phoenix a group of students were on an international school trip. They were caught with alcohol in their hotel room and were subsequently disciplined by the school. The parents of these "fine" children raised a fuss and were mad at the school!!!! Really!?!? The school?!? How about being disappointed in your kids. They let you down, the school is just trying to let them know there are consequences to behavior like this. The parents set quite the example for their kids....Do what you want, and if you do something wrong and get punished, maybe it is the authority figure's fault. Do you see how this way of thinking can lead a young mind down the wrong path?? With no sense of wrong and right, no sense of consequences and furthers the nation's sense of entitlement. I can go on and on about this but will stop here.
As I end this post....Parents, please raise the bar for your children. Instead of fearing that you expect too much and your bar may be too high; let them see what you expect and figure out a way to meet those expectations. Teach them right and wrong. Let them know that there are consequences for EVERY action. Teach them to treat others how they want to be treated. That is the only way to get them in the best position for future success.
You may or may not agree with me.....but just remember.....
These are just one man's thoughts
One Love
